Professional Etiquette Requires Intention, Context & Choice

In last week’s post, I focused on the responsibility employers carry in setting clear expectations around professional presence and etiquette. When leaders avoid these conversations, ambiguity fills the gap—and employees are left guessing.

But that is only half of the equation.

Even in workplaces with clearly articulated norms, individuals still make daily choices about how they show up—what they wear, how they speak, and how they signal readiness, credibility, or care.

Professional presence is not just something imposed through policy. It is something enacted—intentionally or not—by each person, every day.

Safety and Readiness Come First

Before we talk about style, self-expression, or personal brand, one principle comes first: professional presence must support safety and readiness for work.

That may mean clothing that allows you to move safely, footwear suited to the environment, or presentation that signals focus and preparedness. In some roles, it may involve protective equipment, clear identification, or attire that supports physical or psychological safety.

This is not about aesthetics. It is about function.

When presence interferes with safety, accessibility, or the ability to perform the role, it stops being a personal preference and becomes an operational issue.

Once safety and readiness are established, the conversation can move into more nuanced—and more personal—territory.

Work Is a Performative Space

Work is a performative environment. Every workplace is shaped by setting, audience, and purpose. Your visual presence—clothing, grooming, posture—communicates before you speak.

In environments with uniforms, that message is clear and prescribed. In workplaces without them, the message still exists—it is simply less explicit. What you wear continues to signal credibility, authority, approachability, or resistance. The absence of a dress code does not remove interpretation; it shifts it onto the people around you.

Why Personal Intention Matters

Some people assume there are no real rules anymore. Others rely on “just being myself.” Both can miss the point.

Personal intention allows you to show up authentically and contextually—aligning who you are with what the moment requires. That alignment reduces friction, clarifies signals, and builds trust.

Without intention, professional presence is shaped by habit or assumption rather than choice.

Etiquette as Acknowledgment of the Other

At its core, etiquette is not about rules or appearances. It is about the acknowledgment of the other.

That “other” might be a client, a colleague, a board member, a funder, a regulator, or a broader community your organization serves. Professional etiquette is the practice of recognizing that you are not operating in isolation—and that your choices land in a shared space.

This does not require erasing your identity, values, or personality. Nor does it require blind conformity. Instead, it calls for awareness of the expectations, preferences, and assumptions that others bring into the workplace—and a thoughtful decision about how you will engage with them.

In my coaching work, I often frame this as A-Flow:

• Awareness

• Acceptance

• Actionable Choice

Awareness is noticing what is actually happening around you—not what you wish were happening or what you assume should be happening. Who is in the room? What is at stake? What norms—spoken or unspoken—are shaping how presence is interpreted in this moment?

Acceptance does not mean agreement or endorsement. It means acknowledging reality without judgment. Expectations exist whether or not we like them. When we treat that information as data rather than as a personal affront, we create space to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively.

Actionable Choice is where agency lives. Once you are aware of the context and have accepted it without judgment, you can decide how you want to show up. What signals you want to send. Where you are willing to adapt—and where you are not.

This is the difference between feeling constrained by professional norms and using them intentionally. Etiquette becomes less about compliance and more about conscious participation.

Using A-Flow to Navigate Professional Etiquette Concerns at Work

Approaching professional presence intentionally means moving through A-Flow again and again.

Awareness

Notice the context you are stepping into. Who are you interacting with? What is the purpose of the moment? What signals are likely to matter here?

Acceptance

Acknowledge expectations without taking them personally. Treat norms as information, not judgment.

Actionable Choice

Decide how you want to show up. Where will you adapt? Where will you hold steady? The goal is not perfection, but deliberateness.

Pay attention to feedback—especially indirect signals about trust, visibility, and readiness—and use them as data. Professional presence is not a fixed identity; it is a practice that evolves as roles, contexts, and organizations change.

A Final Thought

Even without explicit rules, professional etiquette is never neutral. Presence always communicates something. The question is not whether you are being evaluated—it is whether you are being intentional.

When individuals approach professional presence with awareness, acceptance, and actionable choice, they move from guessing to choosing—and participate in work with greater clarity, confidence, and care.

What Comes Next

In my work with Allison Cheston through Success Lab, we help people decode unspoken workplace norms—not to enforce conformity, but to build fluency and choice.

That is also the spirit behind Friday Fixes on LinkedIn: short reflections on everyday workplace moments where expectations quietly shape outcomes. Please check us out and click on the follow button!