When Everyone Wants Everything: Navigating Competing Priorities Without Losing Yourself
Does this sound familiar? You’re working hard, staying organized, doing your best—when suddenly you realize you’re at the center of multiple competing agendas. Maybe two different leaders are pulling you in different directions. Maybe your client is demanding something your internal team says is impossible. Maybe your work obligations are clashing with personal responsibilities that can’t be ignored. And the pressure builds—until it feels like the only way to succeed is to do everything.
But here’s the truth:
Doing everything often means you’re advancing nothing. Not for your organization. Not for your team. And certainly not for yourself.
🎾 The Tennis Match That Changed How I Think About Priorities
Years ago, I watched a tennis match between two people I knew well. One was a young, gifted athlete in peak physical condition—fast, strong, and seemingly able to run down every ball. The other was an older player, slower on his feet but with decades of experience and an intuitive understanding of the game.
From the start, it looked like a mismatch. The younger player never stopped moving. He chased everything, covered every inch of the court, and hit shot after shot with power and determination. And yet, he lost nearly every point.
Why? Because the older player didn’t chase—he placed. He knew exactly where to put the ball, and he did it calmly and deliberately. He won with strategy, not speed. With placement, not panic.
That match has stayed with me ever since.
Because success—at work or on the court—isn’t about reacting to everything that comes at you. It’s about knowing what actually wins the point.
🧭 Reframing the Problem: It’s Not You vs. Them
When we’re caught in the middle of competing agendas, it’s easy to feel like we’re failing someone—or everyone. But this isn’t usually a personal shortcoming. It’s often a lack of shared prioritization. And you have more power than you think to shape that.
🧰 A 7-Step Framework for Navigating Competing Priorities
When you’re being pulled in multiple directions, it’s tempting to sprint after every request—just like the tennis player chasing every ball. But working harder isn’t the same as working smarter. Use this framework to step back, evaluate the court, and choose your next winning shot.
Don’t assume everything on your list is actually a priority: Just because it’s on your to-do list doesn’t mean it belongs there. Sometimes we hold onto tasks out of habit, or because they look important. But trying to do everything usually just makes you look busy—not effective. Like chasing every tennis ball, it might impress people at first… until you burn out and still don’t win the point. Try asking yourself:
Why is this task here in the first place?
Is this task still in service to our common goal—or has the situation changed?
Assuming this task is a priority, should it still be my task or is it best done by someone else?
Clarify where agendas actually conflict: When pressure builds, it’s easy to see resistance everywhere. The more overwhelmed we feel, the more we assume that every request is in opposition—and that we’re stuck between irreconcilable demands. But in many cases, the perceived conflict is more about assumptions than reality.
At first glance, it may feel like there’s a wide chasm between competing interests. But once you sort it through, you may discover that what looked like a gulf is actually a manageable gap—and one that’s possible to bridge with the right conversation. Take the time to dig a little deeper:
What are each party’s actual objectives—not just their immediate requests?
Where are they already aligned, even if the language or approach is different?
Where is the real tension—and is it as large as it feels?
Communicate your analysis early—and redirect the power dynamic: Once you’ve identified the core points of alignment and tension, share them with those involved. The goal isn’t to pit one side against the other—it’s to shift the conversation. This prevents you from being used as a proxy in someone else’s power game about whose list matters more. Consider asking:
“Here’s what I see as our shared priorities, and here are a few areas where differences in timing or expectations might be creating confusion or pressure. Could we talk through these so we can clarify next steps”?
Reframe the urgency: Is everything equally urgent—or just loud? Not all tasks are created equal—especially not on the same timeline. You may find that everything can get done—just not all at once. Ask yourself and others:
What needs to happen now, and what can wait?
Is timing just as important as completion?
Ask for help—especially when power dynamics are in play: Advocacy isn’t a weakness—it’s a skill. If you’re navigating requests from people at different levels of seniority, don’t go it alone. Seek out:
A supportive manager who can help navigate stakeholder expectations
A mentor or peer who can help you rehearse how to reframe the conversation
An ally who can speak up when you can’t
Create and share a plan that shows you’ve listened: When people see their core concerns reflected in your plan, they’re more likely to trust it. Build an action plan that turns vague promises into shared direction by:
Naming key priorities
Accounting for risks or constraints
Demonstrating how each person’s goals have been understood
Keep others in the loop with solid, simple updates: Don’t wait until the next crisis to show your progress. When people see that you’re following through, they’re more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt and stay focused on shared outcomes. Proactively communicate by sharing:
What’s been completed
What’s in motion
What’s changed—and why
Any remaining challenges or pain points, along with ideas or strategies for addressing them
🎯 The Shot That Wins the Point
Just like that tennis match, your goal isn’t to sprint after every ball. It’s to stay focused on what wins the point—what actually moves your team, your project, your organization forward. When you do that, you conserve energy, create clarity, and give others permission to do the same.